How many of us have good friends? We all have many, right? But can we call our so-called good friends at 2AM at night during crisis? Well, most people would say ‘NO’ to this. Why so?
Well, it is said that men generally remain isolated and have less friends as compared to women. Studies show that in the past few decades, women are also losing their deep friendships. This could be due to a number of reasons like lack of time, interest or patience. People might have hundreds of friends on social media, but it is important to know which ones are genuine or will actually come to your rescue in case of a crisis?
So, if you want to be surrounded by true and genuine friends who help you to rise in life rather than demotivate you, it is time to learn about the ROC formula: Relax, Open and Connect. They are the first three strategies to generate close and reliable friends. Read on to know how it works:
Step #1: Relax
In this fast paced world, the lifestyle has changed dramatically over the years. We don’t realize its effect on us and force our brain and bodies to move at a high speed and adapt themselves to the changing environment. Once you begin to accept and experience your pace, you can start to relax.
Practice the art of relaxing yourself throughout your lifespan. Slowdown in life and let your body and brain see the results.
Step #2: Open
Experts say that once you start accepting your body, mind and emotional experiences, you become more vulnerable to others. Vulnerability is the key to any kind of relationship – be it romantic or friendship. With this quality, you will present yourself better and be more human and real.
Step #3: Connect
Once you relax and open, you are ready to build connections with people. Conquer your inner fears and reach out to another while being present and vulnerable. Stop being passive and become proactive by moving forward to connect with others.
The Key takeaways of ROC
Create a Safe Space
Try to create a safer space for yourself. Till the time you feel unsafe, there is a good chance the other person feels unsafe. If you are at risk, you aren’t naturally oriented to friendship.
Clarify What You Want
Be clear with what you want. Do not deviate from it. Only concentrate to connect to the kind of friends you want and create a plan accordingly.
If you want friends that enjoy shopping, hanging in bars may not be the place to meet them. Joining a ladies club or a shopaholics club to get in touch with your kind of friends will be helpful.
Say No if you don’t like it
Learn to express yourself in front of your friends. Do not shy away from talking to them openly on things that bother you. Your friends must give you positive vibes and energy. Speak up for yourself. Let them know that you look upto them in time of crisis.
If they are not willing to respond the way you want or hesitate to pick your call, you must end that relationship then and there.
Go for Something Bigger Than Yourself
We are attracted to people who are passionate and love to follow their dreams in life. Try to find out what you want in life and how you can achieve it. Go for it. This way you will attract more people towards you who share similar passions.
Enjoy Your Privacy
Know and understand yourself first. To invite people to you, one needs to learn to enjoy his/her own company. When you don’t need others, they will be more attracted to you.
Have patience and Listen to others
Cultivate the habit of listening to others. Listening is an essential quality when you are trying to build long lasting friendships. Your ability to listen allows another to go deep into their experience.
Be happy and enjoy your life
Don’t be boring. Remain happy, full of life and spread joy amongst people. Fun is the magnet that draws others to you. To have fun, you need to relax and express.
You need to give first
Try to give to others knowing you may not get anything in return. Share your feelings and let the other person also express them. Reveal not to get attention.
So, next time you find yourself lonely without any one to rely upon and not being heard, simply slow down. Use the ROC formula to reorient. Find solutions to your problems and reconnect with people you love.
Don’t shy away from taking emotional risks. Go out of your comfort zone. Put yourself in new, possibly mildly scary, crazy situations to expand your friend circle.