Love is an experience that happens to you for whatever reason making your emotions pleasant or sweet. It is one of the most intense and deepest dimensions of human life. If you are pleasant within, the things around you also receive that pleasantness. Sometimes when things are unpleasant in our environment, we become unpleasant within. For example, if you love someone and that someone leaves you, you get unpleasant or unloving. That’s when you stop loving yourself by being unpleasant. That’s when you find it difficult to love yourself. That’s when you stop focusing on your well being and gradually you become unpleasant at physical, mental and emotional level.
One must love oneself because one deserves to be happy. Every life deserves to be happy. And it is not at all selfish to love oneself. Just the way you love others, you must love yourself too. Just the way someone’s life is important to you, your life, your well being is important too. So don’t get embroiled in the thoughts of loving oneself is selfishness. Be loving to yourself, be loving to others. When you love yourself, you feel amazing and your life moves in a positive direction. Your relationship with yourself and with others improves. Someone has aptly said that if you can’t love yourself, how will you love someone else? No matter what our circumstances, we all have the potential, the ability to love ourselves, to value ourselves, to respect ourselves.
Here are some useful tips on how to love yourself:
- Accept yourself and respect yourself
You must have a deep appreciation towards one’s life, only then you can value it. And when you value it, you can love it effortlessly. Nobody is perfect on this planet Earth, so accept your strengths as well as weaknesses (of course you can always work on weaknesses). Accept each part of you. For example, If you are overweight, that doesn’t mean you should start feeling embarrassing about it. You can always make yourself better and work for your well being but until that weight is lost, it doesn’t mean you stop loving your self. You can and you should love yourself the way you are right now!
- The choice is in your hand
Love is a choice just like hatred, anger, sadness or any other emotion. So why not choose love. You can choose to forgive the person who has hurt you and that’s how you can start healing yourself.
- Attitude of gratitude
The more grateful you feel for the things or good people you have, the more loving and happier you become. Then self-love will come naturally to you. Take a diary and every day write about 10 things you are grateful for. It will surely impact your perception and thought-process for the good.
- Be aware of your thoughts and feeling
If negative thoughts race through your mind, be it for yourself or for someone else, consciously tell your mind to stop. Divert your thoughts towards something positive and automatically your feeling will follow your thoughts. Saving yourself from negativity is also self-love.
- Take help
There is nothing wrong in taking help from a friend, a therapist or a counsellor who can listen to you compassionately and give you wise advice when you find it difficult to love yourself. Talking about it can help you have a deep insight into yourself.
- Motivational books/ people
Be around positive people as they can make you realize many great things about yourself which in turn help you love yourself. Motivational books are definitely great friends in the absence of a friend. You can learn life-transforming things from them.
Just be pleasant in your body, pleasant in your mind and then see how easy it is to love oneself which in turn helps you love others too.