It is difficult to recover after a breakup. Especially the baggage a breakup comes up with is hard to carry for some. Even if the relationship wasn’t the best, splitting up with a partner dramatically affects one’s life, alters your day-to-day relationship and has emotional repercussions that can be painful. Some people prefer shedding out the pain with a box of tissues and a bottle of wine; while others try to divert their mind by meeting new people and keep themselves busy all the time. Although whatever the reason is, such emotions fade with time.
Whether you are a dumper or a dumpee, the feeling is not good. Being the dumper is never fun. You are hurting someone you love, even if you believe the relationship has expired. But being a dumpee is the worst feeling.
It is important to move ahead in life, heal, grow and leave these emotions behind. Read on to know how you can move ahead.
1. Get use to the empty feeling
Try to accept that your relationship has ended. That moment when you realize you’ve been dumped by the love of your life feels like death. First few days are going to be really tuff. Allow yourself to sink deep into it and cry your heart out. Remember the good times and embrace the grief to accept the death of a relationship.
2. Cut off all contact for real to recover
After a breakup, try to maintain a distance to cool off completely. Be strict with yourself and say no to texts, emails or social media messages because you need time and distance to get emotional clarity. As per experts, the period of absence is important since your emotions are all over the place and you need time to get over it. If you do not maintain a distance you will want to have your partner again with you and will never be able to break that bond.
3. Feel your feelings
Often when people are going through a breakup, they experience certain kind of feelings that influence the way they think. They feel sad, anxious, angry, hurt and betrayed, etc. Give yourself time and space to recover after a breakup. Don’t try to avoid or suppress your feeling. Your emotions have a function and are there for a reason, even if unpleasant. Allow your emotions to pass off. Do not be in a hurry to get into another relationship. Take time to get over this phase.
4. Say no to negative thoughts
Stay away from negative thoughts as they will make you weaker. Experts say that it is natural for a person who has had a breakup to witness such feelings and thoughts. One needs to stay strong and curb negative thoughts right away. Try to slowly but steadily get back to your routine, reach out to social supports, make plans that get you out of the house, exercise and eat well, return to healthy sleeping habits, take risks again when it comes to dating.
5. Be brutally honest with yourself
To get over a breakup more quickly, be brutally honest about why it occurred. One needs to understand that loving someone does not promise a future together or does not guarantee a compatible relation. Look at the positive aspect of the breakup. Chances are, this breakup happened for a good reason, and if it didn’t happen now, it would have happened down the line.
6. Focus on doing something different
Shift your focus to more interesting things that you haven’t done recently. Try to pull yourself out of a post-breakup. Go out, explore opportunities or simply try a completely new hairstyle. Put the focus on a new improvement, not a loss. Use the post breakup phase as an opportunity to strike out on your own in the world. Discover new hobbies and interests that can make you feel better and more confident about yourself.
7. Get back out there afresh
Make an effort to spend more time with people you care for to bring back a sense of normalcy to your life .Go to new places and meet new people. Have fun. Be with friends and be happy that you’re alive and free. Just don’t get into another undesirable relationship to replace the old. Give yourself the time you need to heal.
8. Leave the past and Move ahead
After an especially bad breakup, it may seem impossible to think. Try to figure out what you can do next to carry on. Look for lucrative work opportunities to divert your mind. Keep calm and forget the past as soon as possible. After all, time is the best healer.